That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I faked an abortion last night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
