the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Houston, we have a blender
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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