I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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