i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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