I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Congratulations! We have a period
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
