so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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