Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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