Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
