I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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