Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he was CRYING into my vagina
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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