Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
