erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
