she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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