I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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