Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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