kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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