i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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