If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
