Michael Bay diarrhea
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
