I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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