u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
soo... how was my night?
Randomize