Can Purell be used as lube?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize