Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
