Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
