There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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