WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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