I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
