walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
