I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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