During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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