bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
