i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
