I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
