went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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