I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
