peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
