So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
