he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
