look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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