i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
