Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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