Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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