I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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