He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
