Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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