it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
