Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
