i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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