there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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