Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
