She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
foreskin is a definite game changer
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
