She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
