SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
