Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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