just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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