I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
