none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
tell your sister to shave her snatch
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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