Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
