I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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