I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
