Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
