just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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