she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
