your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
