She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
